Family (9)
Marriage Monday: Introverts, Extoverts, & Holidays
The house was filled with people for four days. The table had all its leaf’s in it. Additional tables were added to the room to make sure every person had a seat. From morning to evening there was activity. Games. Movies. Ping pong. Shopping. Conversation. Eating. The list goes on. And my husband, Todd and I loved it. We soaked in every moment. When the weekend wrapped up with a four generation Dance Party in our basement, we couldn’t help but smile. We couldn’t stop the tears of gratitude from forming in our eyes.
And then everyone left; we were exhausted. This takes us to today’s Marriage Monday topic, Introvert or Extrovert. An introvert gains energy and refuels their emotional tank through alone time. They generally prefer one on one conversations to large group ones. They often have a small group of close friends instead of a large number of friends. Todd and I are both introverts. What does this mean for us when the last hugs are given, the waves good-bye are completed, and the last vehicle pulls out of the driveway? I thought we'd give you a little glimpse into our Sunday...with the hopes it may encourage you in your marriage as we all continue with the holiday season.
Here's how our Sunday afternoon unfolded:
*We looked at each other, embraced, and gave one another a kiss.
*We shared about how wonderful the long weekend was with all who were present.
*We mutually discussed what the day would hold now that everyone had left the house.
*As introverts, we agreed to give each other space. He worked on stuff outside, did dishes, watched tv, got Christmas decorations out of the closet, and a whole lot more. I grabbed my book orders, my computer, found the kitchen counter once again, wrote this blog, cleaned off the table, and watched some Hallmark.
*We sat down and had dinner together.
*When dinner was finished, we decided to connect again in two hours to get ready for bed and enjoy a movie together to officially close out the wonderful weekend.
*Also, as we passed one another throughout the day, we smiled, shared in a kiss, or a touch on the shoulder…and then went about continuing to refuel our depleted emotional tank.
How about you? Are you introverted or extroverted? Do you fill your emotional tank with some alone time or with other people? What gives you energy?
These are important questions to ask in a marriage. Without good communication, it can get complicated when one spouse is an introvert and one is an extrovert. One person may need some alone time, while the other may desire to have friends over or keep the activity level going strong.
Even when spouses have the same, like Todd and I, there can be hurdles to jump. As two introverts, we need to be sure we are taking time for one another. Just because we can emotionally charge alone, doesn’t mean we should do that all the same time. We need to arrange times to come together, and focus on one another.
And when both spouses are extroverts, they need to also make alone time a priority. They may feel energized by being in larger groups, which could tempt them to solely do activities with others. But they also need to arrange times to come together, and focus on one another.
As with many pieces within a marriage, continuing to learn about one another is so important. There’s always something new to learn and apply to our marriages, as we work to create the very best marriage possible. Remember, neither the introvert or extrovert is correct or better than the other. They are simply different. Check out this week’s Intentional Marriage Tips below:
Intentional Tips for Strengthening your Marriage this Week:
*Identify whether you are an introvert or extrovert
*Have a conversation with your spouse about whether they are an introvert or extrovert
*Share with one another a few examples of times when you feel depleted emotionally
*Share with one another a few examples of times when you feel energized emotionally
*Ask your spouse what you could do this week to help energize them
*Discuss what could be done before, during, and after the next holiday event to help your spouse feel loved, appreciated, and energized
Have a wonderful week, and take some time to check out the marriage tips below. I would love to hear how you made the decision to have those difficult conversations because you acknowledged your marriage was worth it. Please feel free to leave a comment or question on the form below, or connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. And if you found this blog helpful, please remember to “like” it; it helps to get the article out to more couples. Thanks! Here are the tips for the week.
Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and two granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here for the monthly devotion: https://mailchi.mp/5bc5d49af25f/2w6akp98cg
Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
Misty Cramer © 2023
- union
- couples
- spouse
- marriage
- help
- joy
- commitment
- wife
- husband
- grandparents
- relax
- reflect
- security
- difficulties
- challenges
- scripture
- bible
- magnificenc
- wonderful
- inspiration
- awe
- wonder
- mothers
- moms
- mom
- God
- jesus
- children
- parents
- faith
- love
- family
- devotions
- christian
- hope
- prayers
- pray
- rest
- imagine320
- peace
- focus
- determination
- encouragement
- gratitude
- quiet time
- prayer
- rescue
- salvation
- faithful
- faithfulness
- god is faithful
- trust
- listening
- unrealistic
- expectations
- relationships
- unrealistic expectations
- marriage tips
- improving my marriage
- marriage help
- introverts
- extroverts
- holidays with family
- holiday marriage tips
Marriage Monday: Still Processing!
A decision needs to be made. A problem needs to be solved. Feelings are shared. Maybe even with a hint of frustration. Questions about how we will find a solution are thrown out there. And then…silence. Yup, this is a scenario that has happened in our marriage and maybe in yours too.
Todd and I are both internal processors. As internal processors, we prefer to make decisions and sort through our feelings and facts in private. And, that often takes some time. I lean toward this way of processing even more than Todd. My silence doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about it. It doesn’t mean I forgot about our discussion. It doesn’t mean I didn’t find our conversation valuable. It just means I need to have time to reflect all by myself for a while. Maybe hours. Maybe even days.
Can you see how that may be frustrating to a spouse if the spouse is what’s called an external processor? An external processor wants to talk aloud. He wants to have conversation, talk through those facts and feelings with another person. Can you see how that could be frustrating for the spouse who wants to have some quiet time to consider things on her own?
As an internal processor, I need to be sure to communicate to my spouse that I have not forgotten about the important conversation; I am simply still thinking on it. And as an external processor, I need to be conscious about not overtalking; I need to provide him an opportunity to reflect quietly if that is what he needs.
Neither of these are “correct”. They are simply different. In order to respond to our spouse properly, it’s important for us to understand what type of processor our spouse is. Otherwise, their way of processing really could drive us a little nuts.
Do you prefer to wrestle with facts and feelings on your own, within the silence of your own mind, as you come up with an answer to a decision? Or, do you prefer to verbally hash out your facts and feelings with your spouse or someone else as you come up with your answer?
As we remember that neither one of these are “correct”, here are a few intentional marriage tips you can try this week to improve your communication with your spouse.
Have a wonderful week, and take some time to check out the marriage tips below. I would love to hear how you made the decision to have those difficult conversations because you acknowledged your marriage was worth it. Please feel free to leave a comment or question on the form below, or connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. And if you found this blog helpful, please remember to “like” it; it helps to get the article out to more couples. Thanks! Here are the tips for the week.
Intentional Tips for Strengthening your Marriage this Week:
*Take time to identify whether you are an internal processor an external processor
*See if your spouse will do the same
*Discuss your thoughts on this topic with your spouse
*If your spouse is an internal processor, ask him if he feels you allow him the time he needs to process his thoughts
*If your spouse is an external processor, ask him if he feels he has adequate time to discuss and work through his feelings before he makes decisions
*Decide with your spouse what the two of you could do to respect the processing needed for the other spouse
Todd and I learned about this topic during our Marriage Mentoring Training with Mark and Jill Savage. You can find more about this in their book No More Perfect Marriages, available on Amazon.
Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and two granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here for the monthly devotion: https://mailchi.mp/5bc5d49af25f/2w6akp98cg
Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
Misty Cramer © 2023
- marriage help
- improving my marriage
- marriage tips
- unrealistic expectations
- relationships
- expectations
- unrealistic
- listening
- trust
- god is faithful
- faithfulness
- faithful
- salvation
- rescue
- prayer
- quiet time
- gratitude
- encouragement
- determination
- focus
- peace
- imagine320
- rest
- pray
- prayers
- hope
- christian
- devotions
- family
- love
- faith
- parents
- children
- jesus
- God
- mom
- moms
- mothers
- wonder
- awe
- inspiration
- wonderful
- magnificenc
- bible
- scripture
- challenges
- difficulties
- security
- reflect
- relax
- grandparents
- husband
- wife
- commitment
- joy
- help
- marriage
- spouse
- couples
- union
Marriage Monday: When the Yuck Spreads!
This summer I had a messy science experiment happening in the fruit bowl on my counter. I had some of those cuties in a bowl; you know, the tiny orange like fruit that are so juicy and yummy?
One day I glanced at my fruit bowl and noticed one of these little cuties had some mold on it. It wasn’t much, so I went about my day and didn’t think much of it. However, having this cutie out of my mind for a couple days was an unfortunate mistake.
Do you know what happens when a fruit with a little mold lies in a bowl with other fruit? The mold spreads. And it spreads rather quickly. It will go from one little green spot on a cutie to infecting a whole bowl of cuties. Sure, the cuties on the top of the bowl still look good. They are still bright orange. But oh, pick them up and you’re in for a surprise. The underside of them will be turning green. And the cuties underneath well they will not only be green, but may be fuzzy and even have some fruit flies on them. All because I didn’t remove that one cutie from the bowl. Darn!
What does fruit have to do with marriage, Misty? Quite a lot actually. Have you had those times in your marriage when something is bothering you and you decide it can be put on the back shelf for a while? Maybe it’s a conversation about finances. You convince yourself that you don’t want the hassle of the conversation, so you attempt to ignore it for a while. Perhaps it’s about the crazy schedule your family is keeping. You decide it’s not a good time to discuss this with your spouse, so you decide to put it on the back burner. Maybe you really need some alone time with your spouse, but it never seems like a good time to bring it up. So, you put the conversation off…one more time.
Soon, the tension from the finances are eating their way into other areas of your marriage. And your schedule issue, well it is creating tension within the entire family, as it spreads from you to other family members. How about that need you had for time alone? Well, that need doesn’t exist any longer because you are too angry at your spouse to even desire being alone with him.
The issues that began as a little green spot on your cutie have spread. They have invaded other areas of your marriage, even areas that seemed to be going well. By ignoring, putting off, and waiting until another time, you created the perfect science experiment for destroying portions of your marriage.
As I have mentioned in my other marriage blogs, Todd and I are not people who like conflict. Our temptation is definitely to not address something, and wish it would just go away on its own. However, we have learned to say no to that temptation. As much as we would like to ignore the moldy cutie, our marriage is too important to allow the mold to spread to other areas of our relationship. We have learned to address the mold (the issue) when it shows up. Are you willing to do the same? I guarantee it will be worth it.
Have a wonderful week, and take some time to check out the marriage tips below. I would love to hear how you made the decision to have those difficult conversations because you acknowledged your marriage was worth it. Please feel free to leave a comment or question on the form below, or connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. And if you found this blog helpful, please remember to “like” it. Thank you! Alright, enough chit-chat. Here are the tips for the week.
Intentional Tips for Strengthening your Marriage this Week:
*Consider the areas within your marriage where you have been putting off having a discussion
*Ask your spouse when a good time would be to have a conversation
*Ask your spouse if there are any topics in which s/he has been avoiding having conversation with you
*Listen carefully to your spouse, affirming the validity and feelings of what s/he is sharing with you.
*Ask God to give you the words and initiative you need to approach any difficult conversations within your marriage
Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and two granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here for the monthly devotion: https://mailchi.mp/5bc5d49af25f/2w6akp98cg
Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
Misty Cramer © 2023
- union
- couples
- spouse
- marriage
- help
- joy
- commitment
- wife
- husband
- grandparents
- relax
- reflect
- security
- difficulties
- challenges
- scripture
- bible
- magnificenc
- wonderful
- inspiration
- awe
- wonder
- mothers
- moms
- mom
- God
- jesus
- children
- parents
- faith
- love
- family
- devotions
- christian
- hope
- prayers
- pray
- rest
- imagine320
- peace
- focus
- determination
- encouragement
- gratitude
- quiet time
- prayer
- rescue
- salvation
- faithful
- faithfulness
- god is faithful
- trust
- listening
- unrealistic
- expectations
- relationships
- unrealistic expectations
- marriage tips
- improving my marriage
- marriage help
Marriage Monday: I'm So Stressed!
The fatigue has built up from the long day. You’ve dealt with people for hours. You’ve needed to be nice to all those people, because after all, it is your job. You’re already stressing over the list of needs the kids have for the evening. You think…if one more thing goes wrong or one more person says something ******, it will send me over the edge.
Then, you walk in the house and see your spouse has dumped their work stuff in the middle of the living room. You notice the trash they were going to take out yesterday is still overflowing in the kitchen. Your temperature rises as you notice they forgot to put the milk away before they left this morning. If they pop out right now from wherever they may be in this house, you may say things that will take you both on a road to….oh boy, we don’t want to know.
Have you been there? Have you had those days where you are stretched to the limit on your patience, to the point that you are physically and emotionally ready to spew unkind words at your spouse? Almost as if you are armed and ready?
Unfortunately, you are not alone. The question isn’t whether the scenario happens or not (because more than likely, it happens to all of us…or for some, it has happened so frequently that it has turned into the norm). The real question is, how will we respond to the scenario?
Check out these tips below and surprise your spouse after your stressful day by pausing, praying, preparing, and using the power of your words to glorify God and build a stronger marriage for your family.
Intentional Tips for Strengthening Your Marriage this Week:
*Pause: When re-engaging with your spouse and family after you’ve had a stressful day, pause. Physically pause. Don’t go right in and face the people most important in your life when you are filled with anxiety and stress, ready to blow at any moment. Pause and take a deep breath. Sit for even a minute and gather yourself. Close your eyes. Breathe.
*Pray: Share with God the frustrations you’ve encountered in your day. Let Him know you do not wish to place these stresses upon your marriage and family. Then ask Him to calm your spirit. He is the provider of peace. Allow His gift of peace to wash over you, as He listens and answers your prayer.
*Prepare: The very definition of “prepare” is to make ready beforehand, set up, be established. Allow that to translate to your heart and mind. Anticipating that your spouse may also have had a stressful day can help in this preparation. What does it look like to be ready, set up, and established in reference to connecting with your spouse after a stressful day? Does it mean picking up something at the store and giving it to your spouse as a greeting when you walk in? Does it mean having his/her favorite mug already filled with hot coffee when they walk in the door? Perhaps it means having the kiddos ready to run up and give mommy or daddy a big hug when the door opens. Or maybe it looks having a special meal made. Don’t go to where your mind is tempting you right now, with the “I’m the one that’s had the bad day”. Yes, you have, but it is so amazing what God does to our own heart when we shift the focus from ourselves to our spouse. When we consider how we can make their day better, it honestly will also make our day better. Our attitudes shift when we walk in the door and have a little gift to give them. Our heart posture changes when we have prepared a meal that will make our spouse smile. Our angry words disintegrate as we prepare and make a conscious decision to love someone in very tangible ways.
*Power: Remember, there is power in our words. After preparing your hearts, and moving forward with life-giving actions, be sure to use words that will build up your marriage. God instructs us to build one another up with our words (1 Thes 5:11), and there is of course good reason for that. We build a stronger foundation for our marriage when we speak to our spouse with words that build rather than tear down. Instead of removing pieces of our foundation by spewing hateful words, we are able to add pieces to our foundation with loving, encouraging words. And these helpful, strong pieces will be used for other layers of the marriage to be built upon.
Misty Cramer has been married to Todd for 39 years, and together they have raised five sons. They have been in youth, family, and marriage ministry for over three decades. Misty is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She and Todd reside in rural Michigan. They enjoy mentoring couples, and speaking at marriage retreats, while Misty is also available for speaking at Ladies Retreats, MOPS, and church and community events.
Have a wonderful week. I would love to hear how you were able to work through some of the stresses in your marriage. Please feel free to leave a comment or question on the form below, or connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. I also send out a monthly email that includes a devotion, schedule of my speaking, and other words of encouragement. I’d love for you to be a part of what God is doing through the email group. That link is also below. Alright, enough chit-chat.
Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here for the monthly devotion: https://mailchi.mp/5bc5d49af25f/2w6akp98cg
Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
Misty Cramer © 2023
- marriage help
- improving my marriage
- marriage tips
- unrealistic expectations
- relationships
- expectations
- unrealistic
- listening
- trust
- god is faithful
- faithfulness
- faithful
- salvation
- rescue
- prayer
- quiet time
- gratitude
- encouragement
- determination
- focus
- peace
- imagine320
- rest
- pray
- prayers
- hope
- christian
- devotions
- family
- love
- faith
- parents
- children
- jesus
- God
- mom
- moms
- mothers
- wonder
- awe
- inspiration
- wonderful
- magnificenc
- bible
- scripture
- challenges
- difficulties
- security
- reflect
- relax
- grandparents
- husband
- wife
- commitment
- joy
- help
- marriage
- spouse
- couples
- union
Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made it's way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughter-in-laws, and two granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here to receive Misty's monthly devotion: https://mailchi.mp/5bc5d49af25f/2w6akp98cg
Click here to purchase Misty's book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Click here to connect with Misty on Facebook, where she posts daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
- joy
- grandparents
- relax
- reflect
- security
- difficulties
- challenges
- scripture
- bible
- magnificenc
- wonderful
- inspiration
- awe
- wonder
- mothers
- moms
- mom
- God
- jesus
- children
- parents
- faith
- love
- family
- devotions
- christian
- hope
- prayers
- pray
- rest
- imagine320
- peace
- focus
- determination
- encouragement
- gratitude
- quiet time
- prayer
- rescue
- salvation
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- faithfulness
- god is faithful
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Marriage Monday: The Invisible Backpack
It’s been over 39 years since I went down the aisle and made the vow “til death do us part”. As I think back on that day, I consider the number of unrealistic expectations I took with me down that aisle. It was almost as if I had an invisible backpack strapped to my body…and inside it held the ugly and unquestionably problematic…unrealistic expectations.
Oh, I am not even sure I was consciously taking these unrealistic expectations with me down the aisle. Nonetheless, they were there. And some of them were going to do their best to create some problems in my marriage.
Not all expectations are negative ones. But for the purpose of this post, the focus is on the unrealistic and unhealthy expectations. For me, these were expectations I had thrown into my backpack as I grew up. Expectations that my hubby would do jobs just like my Dad did them. Expectations that he would know birthdays were an important event and worthy of gift giving and celebration. Expectations that he would know when I was in need of some quality time. Expectations of him understanding my desire to pray together. The list could go on and on.
The reality is, my expectations were indeed baggage. They were baggage that needed to be addressed. There was a need for my husband and I to communicate with one another about these expectations. Because the reality was, many of our expectations didn’t fit the mold of what our marriage would like.
I needed to understand that my husband was not my Dad; his giftings are very different from my Dad and I need to accept and embrace those differences. I needed to communicate my ideas on birthdays, understanding that the ways of celebration and emphasis on such celebration in his family and mine were different. I needed to release the expectation of thinking my hubby should just “know” that I needed quality time with him; I could share with him my needs for this in a way that would benefit both of us. I couldn’t just expect that he knew I longed for him to pray with me; I again, needed to be honest and share this desire with him.
Are you holding onto unrealistic expectations for your spouse? Perhaps holding him to a standard you saw as a child in a romance movie. Maybe comparing him to your parent or grandparent. Are you evaluating your marriage based upon the marriage of your friends, or possibly, by the never-ending happy and unrealistic posts on social media?
Take time this week to check your backpack. What expectations can you release? Or what expectations can you pick out of the backpack, place on the table, and invite your spouse into your world for some meaningful conversation. Perhaps even offer a time of asking for forgiveness for holding onto expectations that should have never made it down the alter in the first place.
Have a wonderful week, and take some time to check out the marriage tips below. I would love to hear how you were able to work through some of the unrealistic expectations in your marriage. Please feel free to leave a comment or question on the form below, or connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. I also send out a monthly email that includes a devotion, schedule of my speaking, and other words of encouragement. I’d love for you to be a part of what God is doing through the email group. That link is also below. Alright, enough chit-chat. Here are the tips for the week.
Intentional Tips for Strengthening your Marriage this Week:
*Take time alone to consider whether you feel you brought a backpack down the aisle that held expectations for your spouse that shouldn’t have been placed upon him/her.
*Forgive your spouse for placing unrealistic and unhealthy expectations on you.
*Ask your spouse if s/he has felt you had unrealistic expectations for them at any point it your marriage. And if so, do they feel those expectations are still alive or have them been dealt with? Discuss their response.
*Have a conversation with your spouse regarding healthy expectations. What are some expectations you can have for one another that will strengthen your marriage? What expectations do you need to throw out of the backpack?
*Remind yourself throughout the week to release the unrealistic and unhealthy expectations, while focusing on the positive traits your spouse has brought into the marriage.
Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and two granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here for the monthly devotion: https://mailchi.mp/5bc5d49af25f/2w6akp98cg
Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
Misty Cramer © 2023
- union
- couples
- spouse
- marriage
- help
- joy
- commitment
- wife
- husband
- grandparents
- relax
- reflect
- security
- difficulties
- challenges
- scripture
- bible
- magnificenc
- wonderful
- inspiration
- awe
- wonder
- mothers
- moms
- mom
- God
- jesus
- children
- parents
- faith
- love
- family
- devotions
- christian
- hope
- prayers
- pray
- rest
- imagine320
- peace
- focus
- determination
- encouragement
- gratitude
- quiet time
- prayer
- rescue
- salvation
- faithful
- faithfulness
- god is faithful
- trust
- listening
- unrealistic
- expectations
- relationships
- unrealistic expectations
- marriage tips
- improving my marriage
- marriage help
Marriage Monday: Like & Love
Can I love my spouse, but not really like him/her right now? I remember a time in our marriage where I was not liking my man. And my guess is, he wasn’t liking me much at that point either. I can make a list of what was going on in our lives, and place some blame on how and why he wasn’t very likable, but my guess is, again, he probably could do the same. We had young children. One of them wasn’t sleeping much at all, and only wanted mommy. We were struggling financially. I was babysitting daily for another baby, attempting to make some extra income so I could afford to stay home with our children. We were in a rut. He would go to work. I would watch kids. He would return home. I would hand off kids and go outside, trying to get a moment or two without a child attached to my body. He would get frustrated because the child would scream and didn’t want daddy. I would come back into the house to a crying child, other children needing things, and now a hubby who was anything but happy. And the cycle would continue. We would get irritated with one another quickly. We would think of our own needs instead of attempting to meet our needs together. It wasn’t fun.
But, wow, I did love that man. If anyone would have asked either of us if we loved our spouse, we would have said, “yes, of course.” However, we sure weren’t doing a great job at displaying it in everyday life. And the results were…we didn’t like each other much.
Thankfully, that phase didn’t last too long. We learned to communicate much better. We learned to forgive more quickly. We learned to serve the other more effectively. We learned to see the needs of the other more often. We learned. Period.
Marriage is a process of learning, isn’t it. Today, I ask, do you find yourself in the “I love my spouse, but I don’t like my spouse” phase? Unfortunately, some couples spend years in this phase. It’s not a healthy, productive, and certainly not a fun place to reside in your marriage. Marriage is much more fulfilling when we not only love our spouse, but we like him/her too.
When I look back at that phase, I see some important components at play on my end. I see a woman who wasn’t happy with herself. I see a woman who was exhausted. I see a woman who probably had some depression creeping into her life. I see a woman who was lonely. The list goes on, but the point is, I wasn’t at a great place emotionally. And Todd could make a list of his components, as well. We were two people who were struggling on our own, and not making the decision to come together, communicate, and see what we could do for the other. We were too caught up in the “me syndrome”. If I could sit down with that young Misty today, I would suggest she and her husband sit down and have some conversation on how they could meet the other’s needs more effectively. I would tell her to intentionally do something to serve her husband every day, even if that wasn’t reciprocated. I would tell her to get a babysitter, and go out and do something fun with this man she loves…and find out what it’s like to not only love him, but to like him again.
Don’t stay stuck in that spot; take a step today to make your marriage better. If your spouse isn’t onboard for talking to you about it, make a commitment this week to do something for him/her that would show them you’re in the game. You’re ready to step it up and become friends, have fun together, laugh together…that you’re ready to figure out how to like one another again. And if you already are doing great in your marriage, awesome. But don’t take that for granted. Don’t let the fire burn out; fan the flame. Continue to be intentional about doing something to make it better each day. Your marriage is worth it.
Intentional Ideas for Strengthening Your Marriage this Week:
*Ask your spouse, "What could I do to make your week better?"
*Do an activity you had fun doing together when you were dating.
*Leave a note for your spouse that tells him/her at least three things you like about them.
*Let your spouse choose something for the two of you to do together, and make the arrangements to make it happen
#marriage #marriagematters #love #marriagemonday #loveoneanother #love #serve #spouse
Misty Cramer © 2023
Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made it's way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughter-in-laws, and two granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
https://mailchi.mp/5bc5d49af25f/2w6akp98cg
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
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"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." -Winnie the Pooh