Marriage Monday: When the Yuck Spreads!

This summer I had a messy science experiment happening in the fruit bowl on my counter. I had some of those cuties in a bowl; you know, the tiny orange like fruit that are so juicy and yummy?

 One day I glanced at my fruit bowl and noticed one of these little cuties had some mold on it. It wasn’t much, so I went about my day and didn’t think much of it. However, having this cutie out of my mind for a couple days was an unfortunate mistake.

Do you know what happens when a fruit with a little mold lies in a bowl with other fruit? The mold spreads. And it spreads rather quickly. It will go from one little green spot on a cutie to infecting a whole bowl of cuties. Sure, the cuties on the top of the bowl still look good. They are still bright orange. But oh, pick them up and you’re in for a surprise. The underside of them will be turning green. And the cuties underneath well they will not only be green, but may be fuzzy and even have some fruit flies on them. All because I didn’t remove that one cutie from the bowl. Darn!

What does fruit have to do with marriage, Misty? Quite a lot actually. Have you had those times in your marriage when something is bothering you and you decide it can be put on the back shelf for a while? Maybe it’s a conversation about finances. You convince yourself that you don’t want the hassle of the conversation, so you attempt to ignore it for a while. Perhaps it’s about the crazy schedule your family is keeping. You decide it’s not a good time to discuss this with your spouse, so you decide to put it on the back burner. Maybe you really need some alone time with your spouse, but it never seems like a good time to bring it up. So, you put the conversation off…one more time.

Soon, the tension from the finances are eating their way into other areas of your marriage. And your schedule issue, well it is creating tension within the entire family, as it spreads from you to other family members. How about that need you had for time alone? Well, that need doesn’t exist any longer because you are too angry at your spouse to even desire being alone with him.

 The issues that began as a little green spot on your cutie have spread. They have invaded other areas of your marriage, even areas that seemed to be going well. By ignoring, putting off, and waiting until another time, you created the perfect science experiment for destroying portions of your marriage.

 As I have mentioned in my other marriage blogs, Todd and I are not people who like conflict. Our temptation is definitely to not address something, and wish it would just go away on its own. However, we have learned to say no to that temptation. As much as we would like to ignore the moldy cutie, our marriage is too important to allow the mold to spread to other areas of our relationship. We have learned to address the mold (the issue) when it shows up. Are you willing to do the same? I guarantee it will be worth it.

Have a wonderful week, and take some time to check out the marriage tips below.  I would love to hear how you made the decision to have those difficult conversations because you acknowledged your marriage was worth it. Please feel free to leave a comment or question on the form below, or connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. And if you found this blog helpful, please remember to “like” it. Thank you! Alright, enough chit-chat.  Here are the tips for the week.

Intentional Tips for Strengthening your Marriage this Week:

 *Consider the areas within your marriage where you have been putting off having a discussion

 *Ask your spouse when a good time would be to have a conversation

 *Ask your spouse if there are any topics in which s/he has been avoiding having conversation with you

 *Listen carefully to your spouse, affirming the validity and feelings of what s/he is sharing with you.

 *Ask God to give you the words and initiative you need to approach any difficult conversations within your marriage

Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and two granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

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