Todd and I enjoyed an entire Saturday at home this past weekend. With two sons getting married in the next month, it was a wonderful weekend to soak in one another before the wonderful weeks ahead place some extra commitments on our plate.

By Saturday evening, we had both spent time going in and out of the house, sort of rotating between work around the house and relaxation. As the sun was beginning to set, we took a walk around the yard and landed in the chairs overlooking the water. We soaked in the sunset, the sounds of the birds surrounding us, and the warmth of one another’s bodies. I sat nestled under his arm with my head resting on his shoulder, and closed my eyes. After close to 40 years of marriage, his shoulder was still one of my favorite places to rest. It always brings me peace, comfort, strength, assurance.

In the silence, my mind began to reflect upon the many ways I am grateful for this man. The list in my mind just kept growing. From his hard work around the yard to his love for his family. From his passion for ministry to his desire to provide for us. From his hunger for personal spiritual growth to his desire to see others know Jesus. From the way he looks at me when I’m being silly to the way he opens the door for me when we go out. The list continued. And then I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked into his eyes.

“Babe,” I said with an inquisitive smile, “Do you ever just look at me and think of how thankful you are for me?”

He kept my gaze and softly responded, “That’s what I was just doing.” And he kissed me.

It is so important in our marriages to share with one another the gratitude we feel for the other. Life is crazy busy and if we aren’t intentional, it just won’t happen. It isn’t necessarily because we aren’t thankful or grateful for our spouse; it could truly because we aren’t making it a priority to leave ourselves time to lean into the art of gratitude for him/her.

I know I mention “priority” almost every week in my Marriage Monday, but that’s because it’s important! We must prioritize what’s important. And it is of utmost importance to share with your spouse the gratitude you feel for them. Unfortunately, you might be making a list of all the things he/she does that bother you. Or maybe you’re not in a good spot in your marriage right now, so you are stopping yourself from even allowing anything pure and good about them to enter your mind. I challenge you to stop that today. Satan loves to grab our train of thought and head it down a negative direction. Before we know it, it’s hard to get dug out of that rut. I’m asking you today, to make an intentional decision to get out of the negative rut. And to make a gratitude attitude adjustment this week. I have faith in you! You can do it! Check out the Practical Tips below to get started on the journey to strengthening your marriage. Because your marriage matters!

Practical Tips for Strengthening Your Marriage this Week

*Pause and pray. Ask God to forgive you for any negative thoughts you have been holding against your spouse, and ask Him to renew your mind with thoughts of gratitude.

*Grab a piece of paper and write down at least five characteristics in which you are thankful for your spouse. Do this each day this week, so you have a list tucked away to refer to when you need the reminder.

*Leave your spouse a note on his/her mirror, pillow, coffee pot, vehicle (you get the idea) that tells him/her specific areas in which you are thankful for him/her. Do this several times this week.

*Take your spouse by the hand, or in your arms, look him/her in the eyes and tell him/her, “I am so grateful for ___________. Thank you for caring for me/us in this way.” Do this several times this week.

*Have a conversation with your spouse and discuss how you both can move forward with making the sharing of gratitude a priority. This could be making gratitude lists and setting aside a special time to share them with one another. Perhaps you could commit to sharing something you are thankful for each night before you go to bed. There are many ideas you could implement; enjoy creating them and soak in the blessings that sharing your gratitude for your spouse brings to your marriage.