As I read Luke 3 today, I couldn’t help but pick up on the excitement and anticipation that was building surrounding the arrival of Jesus. The chapter is filled with teaching from John, and in this teaching, he shares the great news of the One who would come after him. He lets the expectant people know that there is someone who is coming who is far greater than he. He shares, “But one who is more powerful than I will come…”. He is making sure the people understand that he, John, is not the Messiah…while building the anticipation for the One who will soon arrive.

How is your excitement level today? I’m not asking if your excited about your tree or your shopping or even your family. I’m asking what your excitement level is for the One who we celebrate. The One who is far greater than us. The One who deserves all glory, honor, and praise.

Jesus later will go on to instruct the people, including us, to go and make disciples of all nations. He is asking us to take our excitement to another level and share it with others. He is asking us to take the love He has for each of us, and show it to others.

Today, on Day 3 of our Christmas Countdown, would you excitedly share the love of Jesus with someone? Just as my boys were beaming with excitement over the arrival of their older brothers, we should also be beaming with excitement over the fact that we have news to share…news the world needs to hear. News of the upcoming celebration of the birth of Jesus, our reason for hope. Will you share this news with someone today?

Whether it’s coming home from a family vacation or returning home from a ministry trip, I need time and space to recoup. And Todd…well, the man just rebounds more quickly than I do. While I need time to catch up on some sleep…multiple nights worth; he gets one night of sleep and is ready to hit the regular schedule again. I need time to reorganize my brain, sort through my emotions, revisit the experience; he does that stuff quickly and bounces right back. I wish I could pull that off, but honestly, I just can't. 

Before I went through our Marriage Mentoring Course, I had contributed this to a lack of physical energy on my part, thinking I just was frailer or something. Well, that wasn’t it at all. One of our assessments explained that I fall under a Medium Low Capacity and Todd falls under Medium High Capacity. It is referring to the emotional capacity each of us have, basically how quickly we get stressed when juggling a demanding schedule, as well as how long we need to recover from events.

Hurray! I am not lazy or physically frail. I’m just different from Todd. Neither one is better than the other; they’re just different. We handle our “stuff” differently and need different recovering periods.

Can you see how this might be something that could cause some issues in a marriage? If we don’t understand that we are wired differently, created differently, we could have unrealistic expectations for our spouse.

If Todd doesn’t understand that I am going to need a few days to recover and regroup from our ten-day Florida Trip with 150 students, he could get frustrated and even angry at me when I can’t push forward in the same way he does. Instead, he has learned to adjust his expectations for me. He knows it will take me a few days, and that during that time I am processing the trip, getting re-energized, and resting up so I can be more effective when I get rolling again.

On the opposite side of that, I have found myself frustrated with him because he does rebound so quickly. I have thought he was pushing himself too much, not taking the necessary breaks. When in actuality, he has gotten his rest, and just feels ready to get out and move forward more quickly than I do. And that’s ok. I need to let him do that.

We are each created differently. Let’s celebrate that fact! When we understand these differences and value them, allowing them to be assets instead of barriers in our marriage, we can be excited about making our marriages stronger.

Intentional Tips for Strengthening your Marriage this Week:

*Would you describe yourself as a High Capacity or Low Capacity? How about your spouse?

*Have you been frustrated by the differences between you and your spouse in this area of your marriage?

*How will you respond differently to your spouse after being aware of these differences?

Have a wonderful week. Please feel free to leave a comment or question on the form below, or connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. And if you found this blog helpful, please remember to “like” it. Thank you! 

Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and two granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Sign up here for the monthly devotion:  https://mailchi.mp/5bc5d49af25f/2w6akp98cg

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14 

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement:  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

 Misty Cramer © 2023

Dating can be a time when showing the other how much we love them comes a little easier. Generally, we are working hard to show that person the best of us. We figure out what they enjoy. We long to spend time with them. We go out of our way to cater to their needs. We come up with special ways to show our love.

And often times, we find ourselves years down the road, wondering why that person isn’t loving us the way they once did. You know, life begins to happen. Schedules fill up. Kids come along. Money is hard to come by. Health issues arise. And we begin to take the other for granted. We put them on the back burner. We prioritize work and kids above our spouse. We look around and wonder what happened to that flirting. What happened to the person who used to go out of their way to make us feel loved?

I’m here to say, you don’t have to let that happen in your marriage. Come on! Put the time, creativity, and energy into your marriage! Besides your relationship with Jesus, there should be nothing else that comes above the investment you put into the person next to you bed.

I am not saying it’s always easy. In fact, you may be at a place in your marriage where the thought of investing into your spouse gives you a headache. Well, take a deep breath. Make a commitment to begin today to show them how much you love and appreciate them. Once you make it a part of your daily life, it will get easier. Your actions will become part of who you are again. And more than likely, they will be reciprocated.

As Todd and I were talking about this topic, we both came up with some actions that make us feel loved by the other.

Todd feels especially loved by me when I:

*spend time working on a home or yard project with him

*watch a Todd choice movie with him

*attend an event with him that he knows I would rather not attend

*recognize his need to be alone and/or have a break from other people

I feel especially loved by Todd when he:

*spends time playing a game with me

*brings me a treat from the store without me requesting it

*finds a movie for us to watch that I know is much higher on my “like” list that his

*takes a walk around the yard with me

*shares with someone about something he is proud of me for accomplishing

As you can see by the examples, there isn’t financial cost attributed to these actions. They are simply actions created by tuning into the needs and desires of the person. Making the other a priority.

Take some time to invest in your marriage by going over the tips below with your spouse.

Intentional Tips for Strengthening your Marriage this Week:

*Ask your spouse to list three things that make him/her feel loved by you. If they didn’t read this article, give them a couple examples from above to help them get started.

*Look over that list and write on your calendar when you will carry out those actions. (Things that get put on your calendar have a much better chance of being completed. Remember, your spouse is your priority.)

*Carry out those actions.

*Continue carrying out those actions in the weeks ahead. See if you begin to notice a difference in your spouse and in your marriage.

Do you find Marriage Monday helpful? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Message me. Comment on the blog. And give a “thumbs up” and share. Thank you!

Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Sign up here for the monthly devotion:  https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14 

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement:  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

 Misty Cramer © 2024

Are you a fixer or a listener? The scenario looks something like this:

Spouse A: “Honey, I just had a horrible day. You wouldn’t believe what happened at work! And then I came home to the kids having problems…” The conversation continues with Spouse A downloaded the difficulties of the day.

Obviously exhausted, they plop down on the couch and wait for reassurance and comfort from Spouse B.

Spouse B: “I think you probably should have just told so-and-so at work to mind their own business. And you know, I’ve been saying that we need to tell those kids they just can’t...”. The conversation continues with Spouse B sharing all the wonderful ideas they have that could fix the difficulties shared by Spouse A.

Todd and I have been there. Spouse A generally is simply wanting to download their frustrations and receive affirmation from Spouse B. And yet, the temptation for Spouse B is to “fix” the problems shared by Spouse A. After all, they have a problem. They shared it. They certainly must want an answer. Otherwise, why would they have shared the problem?

Can you relate to this at all within your marriage? Generally, but not all the time, Spouse A is the wife and Spouse B is the husband. Often times, the wife desires to download her day, without being told how she could fix whatever issues she may have disclosed.

Sometimes, she has actually dealt with the problem already. Other times, she is tired and doesn’t want the “fix” at that moment. And sometimes, she simply wants to unload. She desires for her spouse to listen to her, comfort her, and offer reassurance that he loves her. She wants a shoulder to cry on and an ear to hear.

However, God wired men with a desire to “fix” problems. Frequently when they hear their wife download the difficulties, their brains begin to process and they begin thinking of truly great ways to fix the problems. They want to love their wife by sharing with her the ideas of how they can help to make her situation better.

As wives, we often just think the hubby is rude. Why can’t you just hear me? Love me? And on the opposite side, the guy is not trying to be rude. He is listening. And his method of loving you is to show you the answer to your problem.

Let’s get on the same page. If you’re the spouse who needs to vent and wants the “ear”, but not the “answer”, then let your spouse know that before you download to them.

And if you’re the spouse who is on the receiving end of this download, have your spouse clarify what they would like from you in this situation. A simple, “Honey, would you like me to simply listen to you today or did you want me to think of how I can help you with this situation?”

As with most challenges in our marriages, communication is key. The receiver in this situation could have very good intentions when they offer help. And yet, if Spouse A was coming with the intention of solely wanting to download, the help is only going to raise the already tense mood. Be clear of the expectations before the conversation even begins.

Intentional Tips for Your Marriage this Week:

*Have a conversation with your spouse and ask each other:

Do you feel heard by me when you share about the challenges you encounter during the day?  

            How do you think I can improve on my listening?

Are there times when you feel I try to fix the problem, rather than just tune in and listen to you?

Before you download something to me, do you feel comfortable letting me know that you just want me to listen to you?

Do you understand that in the past when I have shared my suggestions that it was done out of love?

When I have ideas that could help your situation, what would be the best time and manner for me to share them with you?

I hope you have a wonderful week and that you remember to prioritize your marriage...because it matters. 

Do you find Marriage Monday helpful? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Message me. Comment on the blog. And give a “thumbs up” and share. Thank you!

Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter:  https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14 

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement:  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

 Misty Cramer © 2024

As I exited the middle school locker room, I heard the teacher holler out the words I hated most during gym class.

“Everyone line up on the sideline. We are going to pick teams for….insert kickball, dodgeball, softball, or about any other sport.”

My shy personality would shrink within my small-framed body, as I slumped, attempting to disappear from what had become my normal for this phase of my childhood. My head would hang low, as my anxiety would rise.

My classmates would run to stand on the line, eager to get started on this routine of choosing teams. I’m sure there must have been others who felt like I did, however, at the time, I felt like I was the only one dreading this moment.

Two athletic students were chosen to “Captain” the teams, and the choosing began. Joe. Sue. Mike. Mary. The names rattled off, as those chosen ran to take their spot behind the Captain. Sam. Sally. Dave. Karen. More students running to their spots. Less of us standing on the sideline. John. Cindy. Pat. Donna. And so, it continued. By the time my name was called off, the sideline was clear. Often times my name didn’t need to be said aloud; as the last one standing, I would walk out and join whatever team had the “last pick”.

Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you felt you were not seen? A time you were overlooked? A time when you weren’t one of the “chosen”?

I would imagine most of us have experienced that at some level. Perhaps it was at school, like my example. Maybe it has been within your family. You have felt unseen and unheard within the very walls of your own house. Perhaps for you it was at work. You worked hard; you put extra hours in. Only to be ignored and overlooked. Maybe you have experienced this within your friend group. You find yourself on the “outside” of the inside jokes, unsure if these people are really your friends. Maybe for you it’s within your marriage. You aren’t heard or understood, and it appears your spouse doesn’t see you.

I’m not sure of your situation, but I want you to know the truth. You are seen. You are not overlooked. You are chosen. Although I wish I could change your circumstances to make you feel that truth within the situations mentioned above, I cannot change the people around you. But what I can do, is offer you the truth to walk through those situations with your head held high.

You see, we have a God who is crazy about us. In 1 Peter 2:9-10, it says, “I am a chosen race”. In Ephesians 1, it says, “For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world.” And in Galatians 3:26 it says, “For you…(that’s you! ) Are all daughters of God through faith in Christ.”

There are so many more scriptures that share with us how important we are to God. Read those verses above again. It says you are “chosen”…that means, even when you’re standing on the sidelines alone. It says you are His “daughter/son”…even when you feel overlooked.

God knows every part of your being, and He sees you. He never overlooks you. He chose you. He loves you so much that He gave His only son to die on the cross for you. This Son, Jesus, rose from the dead three days later, giving us a chance at abundant life here on earth and eternal life with Him when our time on earth is complete. 

Practical Tip: Write the TRUTH on some sticky notes and place them around your house. "I am Chosen." "I am Loved." "I am Valued." Put them on your bathroom mirror. Put them on your coffee pot. Place them on your bedside table. Don't let lies cover the TRUTH about the value you actually hold. 

If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, let me know and I will share with you how to begin one. And if you already do, lean into that. Remind yourself through the scriptures that whether you have a rough day at school, work, or in your own family, you are loved, seen, and chosen. You are never overlooked by your Heavenly Father.

©Misty Cramer 2024

Misty Cramer is a best-selling author & national speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter:  https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14 

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement:  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

 Misty Cramer © 2024

“If you turn left here, we will get there more quickly.” 

“No, I drive this all the time, this way is quicker.”

“I just drove this yesterday, and it is quicker if you turn left.” 

Voice inflections change. Eyes roll. The mood of the trip just changed.

“You never reached out to me.”

“I reached out first, last time. I was waiting for you this time.”

“What a joke! You never reach out to me first. I always have to be the one to initiate.”

Words get harsher. The sound of pain makes its way through the conversation. 

“About ten years ago we went and visited Uncle Joe.”

“That was not ten years ago. It was only eight.”

“It was ten years! I remember cuz it was close to his 70^th birthday.”

Argument ensues. Tension grows. 

What is it about us and our great need to be “RIGHT”? Even to the point we are willing to argue about topics that add no value to our daily lives. To the point that often times, we don’t even remember the topic of the initial argument. Years ago, my husband and I went to a marriage retreat, and speaker, Tom Harmon, gave this wise advice: “Give up the RIGHT to be RIGHT.”

What? You mean when I am RIGHT, I can just let “it” go and allow the other person to be RIGHT? Yes, it is possible. And it is a valuable tool to use in a marriage, as well as in any other relationship. When we relinquish this RIGHT, we are sacrificing self by putting the other person’s needs first. Because to be honest, many (I realize there are exceptions) of the arguments we have, are not worth battling over. They are not worth damaging the relationship. They are not worth hurting the other person. They are not worth the journey down the long ugly road. They are not worth damaging any children within earshot.

Perhaps turning left was quicker, but did the argument add value to the relationship? Maybe the other person didn’t reach out last time; are we prepared to lose the relationship over who is RIGHT. And maybe it was only eight years ago since we visited Uncle Joe, but wasn’t the goal of the conversation to set up a time to go visit him again?

I’m certainly not going to say it’s easy to relinquish the RIGHT to be RIGHT. My husband will testify to the fact that I don’t find it easy; in fact, he is much better at it than I. But I will continue to remind myself that it’s not about who is RIGHT. It’s about loving and honoring the other person, and investing in the building of relationships. 

Bible Verses for today's Marriage Monday

Let no corrupt talk come from your mouths, but only that which is used to build others up. Eph 4:29

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, Matthew 7:12

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.  Ephesians 4:32

Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter:  https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome I hope you have a wonderful week and that you remember to prioritize your marriage...because it matters. 

Do you find Marriage Monday helpful? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Message me. Comment on the blog. And give a “thumbs up” and share. Thank you!

Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter:  https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14 

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement:  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

 Misty Cramer © 2024

As the sun shines brightly in my window today, my mind takes me back to the first Good Friday. I sit reading the crucifixion story in my Bible, and I can’t help but feel anger and gratitude simultaneously. Although neither of those words quite touch the extreme emotions felt, they mix together, penetrating my soul in an unexplainable manner.

Anger, even rage, darkens my mind, as I read of the flogging of my Jesus. The mockery of him, as they clothed him with the scarlet robe. As they placed a staff in his hand, and pressed the crown of thorns deeply into his head. As they hurled insults at him…at my Jesus. The pain he felt as they took the staff and beat him over the head with it; physical pain that I can’t begin to imagine. And yet, for the Jesus I have come to know, that paled in comparison to his internal pain. His heart pain...as they mocked him, spit on him, sneered as he walked by, carrying the very cross each of them, each of us, deserved to carry. My Jesus. Enduring this pain. For each of them. For each of us. For me.

The world went dark. For three hours. That first Good Friday. Silence. As my Jesus hung on the cross. As my Jesus cried out and died the death that I deserved.

So, yes, anger. Rage. It’s ok that I feel those things when I consider that first Good Friday. Yet, I have a benefit that those who loved him, those who sat at the foot of that cross, couldn’t yet see. I have the benefit of knowing that Sunday was coming. And it was just around the corner. I have the benefit of sitting in my rage, while also sitting in my gratitude. I have the benefit of sitting in the darkness, knowing the hope has already been revealed. I have the benefit of being consumed by the pain of the death, only for a moment, because I know the end of the story. That death was short-lived. That death was defeated that day. That the empty tomb found three days later was the key to victory. That death was beaten! That my Jesus overcame the darkest of days with the most victorious of days. From cross to grave…He has won!

Isn’t it a wonderful gift to know the end of the story? To know that as we acknowledge and sit in remembrance of the darkest day, that we are able to do so with gratitude, hope, peace, and even celebration of what was to come after that first Good Friday?

I challenge you this Easter weekend to sit in the darkness for a bit. Read the scriptures of that first Good Friday (Matthew 27, Mark 15, Luke 23, John 19). And then praise God for the end of the story. For the victory. For death being defeated.

Walk in the Truth this Easter Weekend. Because if you are a follower of Jesus, this weekend should be one of celebration! A reminder that my Jesus, your Jesus, overcame. He won! And because of that you and I are also victorious. We win…abundant life here on earth and eternal life is our future.

Heavenly Father, thank you for sending your Son, Jesus, to pay the penalty of death that I deserved. As I wrap my head and heart around that today, I also praise you for the victory that came three days later. Thank you for the cross. And thank you for the empty grave. Because you beat death, I may live in relationship with you today and forever more. I love you, Lord. Amen.

©Misty Cramer 2024 

Misty Cramer is a best-selling author & national speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments. The book quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories, and is a Selah Awards Finalist. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter:  https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14 

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement:  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

 Misty Cramer © 2024

Do you find Marriage Monday helpful? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Message me. Comment on the blog. And give a “thumbs up” and share. Thank you!

Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter:  https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14 

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement:  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

 Misty Cramer © 2024