As I exited the middle school locker room, I heard the teacher holler out the words I hated most during gym class.
“Everyone line up on the sideline. We are going to pick teams for….insert kickball, dodgeball, softball, or about any other sport.”
My shy personality would shrink within my small-framed body, as I slumped, attempting to disappear from what had become my normal for this phase of my childhood. My head would hang low, as my anxiety would rise.
My classmates would run to stand on the line, eager to get started on this routine of choosing teams. I’m sure there must have been others who felt like I did, however, at the time, I felt like I was the only one dreading this moment.
Two athletic students were chosen to “Captain” the teams, and the choosing began. Joe. Sue. Mike. Mary. The names rattled off, as those chosen ran to take their spot behind the Captain. Sam. Sally. Dave. Karen. More students running to their spots. Less of us standing on the sideline. John. Cindy. Pat. Donna. And so, it continued. By the time my name was called off, the sideline was clear. Often times my name didn’t need to be said aloud; as the last one standing, I would walk out and join whatever team had the “last pick”.
Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you felt you were not seen? A time you were overlooked? A time when you weren’t one of the “chosen”?
I would imagine most of us have experienced that at some level. Perhaps it was at school, like my example. Maybe it has been within your family. You have felt unseen and unheard within the very walls of your own house. Perhaps for you it was at work. You worked hard; you put extra hours in. Only to be ignored and overlooked. Maybe you have experienced this within your friend group. You find yourself on the “outside” of the inside jokes, unsure if these people are really your friends. Maybe for you it’s within your marriage. You aren’t heard or understood, and it appears your spouse doesn’t see you.
I’m not sure of your situation, but I want you to know the truth. You are seen. You are not overlooked. You are chosen. Although I wish I could change your circumstances to make you feel that truth within the situations mentioned above, I cannot change the people around you. But what I can do, is offer you the truth to walk through those situations with your head held high.
You see, we have a God who is crazy about us. In 1 Peter 2:9-10, it says, “I am a chosen race”. In Ephesians 1, it says, “For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world.” And in Galatians 3:26 it says, “For you…(that’s you! ) Are all daughters of God through faith in Christ.”
There are so many more scriptures that share with us how important we are to God. Read those verses above again. It says you are “chosen”…that means, even when you’re standing on the sidelines alone. It says you are His “daughter/son”…even when you feel overlooked.
God knows every part of your being, and He sees you. He never overlooks you. He chose you. He loves you so much that He gave His only son to die on the cross for you. This Son, Jesus, rose from the dead three days later, giving us a chance at abundant life here on earth and eternal life with Him when our time on earth is complete.
Practical Tip: Write the TRUTH on some sticky notes and place them around your house. "I am Chosen." "I am Loved." "I am Valued." Put them on your bathroom mirror. Put them on your coffee pot. Place them on your bedside table. Don't let lies cover the TRUTH about the value you actually hold.
If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, let me know and I will share with you how to begin one. And if you already do, lean into that. Remind yourself through the scriptures that whether you have a rough day at school, work, or in your own family, you are loved, seen, and chosen. You are never overlooked by your Heavenly Father.
©Misty Cramer 2024
Misty Cramer is a best-selling author & national speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome
Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
Misty Cramer © 2024
“If you turn left here, we will get there more quickly.”
“No, I drive this all the time, this way is quicker.”
“I just drove this yesterday, and it is quicker if you turn left.”
Voice inflections change. Eyes roll. The mood of the trip just changed.
“You never reached out to me.”
“I reached out first, last time. I was waiting for you this time.”
“What a joke! You never reach out to me first. I always have to be the one to initiate.”
Words get harsher. The sound of pain makes its way through the conversation.
“About ten years ago we went and visited Uncle Joe.”
“That was not ten years ago. It was only eight.”
“It was ten years! I remember cuz it was close to his 70th birthday.”
Argument ensues. Tension grows.
What is it about us and our great need to be “RIGHT”? Even to the point we are willing to argue about topics that add no value to our daily lives. To the point that often times, we don’t even remember the topic of the initial argument. Years ago, my husband and I went to a marriage retreat, and speaker, Tom Harmon, gave this wise advice: “Give up the RIGHT to be RIGHT.”
What? You mean when I am RIGHT, I can just let “it” go and allow the other person to be RIGHT? Yes, it is possible. And it is a valuable tool to use in a marriage, as well as in any other relationship. When we relinquish this RIGHT, we are sacrificing self by putting the other person’s needs first. Because to be honest, many (I realize there are exceptions) of the arguments we have, are not worth battling over. They are not worth damaging the relationship. They are not worth hurting the other person. They are not worth the journey down the long ugly road. They are not worth damaging any children within earshot.
Perhaps turning left was quicker, but did the argument add value to the relationship? Maybe the other person didn’t reach out last time; are we prepared to lose the relationship over who is RIGHT. And maybe it was only eight years ago since we visited Uncle Joe, but wasn’t the goal of the conversation to set up a time to go visit him again?
I’m certainly not going to say it’s easy to relinquish the RIGHT to be RIGHT. My husband will testify to the fact that I don’t find it easy; in fact, he is much better at it than I. But I will continue to remind myself that it’s not about who is RIGHT. It’s about loving and honoring the other person, and investing in the building of relationships.
Bible Verses for today's Marriage Monday
Let no corrupt talk come from your mouths, but only that which is used to build others up. Eph 4:29
So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, Matthew 7:12
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome I hope you have a wonderful week and that you remember to prioritize your marriage...because it matters.
Do you find Marriage Monday helpful? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Message me. Comment on the blog. And give a “thumbs up” and share. Thank you!
Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome
Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
Misty Cramer © 2024
As the sun shines brightly in my window today, my mind takes me back to the first Good Friday. I sit reading the crucifixion story in my Bible, and I can’t help but feel anger and gratitude simultaneously. Although neither of those words quite touch the extreme emotions felt, they mix together, penetrating my soul in an unexplainable manner.
Anger, even rage, darkens my mind, as I read of the flogging of my Jesus. The mockery of him, as they clothed him with the scarlet robe. As they placed a staff in his hand, and pressed the crown of thorns deeply into his head. As they hurled insults at him…at my Jesus. The pain he felt as they took the staff and beat him over the head with it; physical pain that I can’t begin to imagine. And yet, for the Jesus I have come to know, that paled in comparison to his internal pain. His heart pain...as they mocked him, spit on him, sneered as he walked by, carrying the very cross each of them, each of us, deserved to carry. My Jesus. Enduring this pain. For each of them. For each of us. For me.
The world went dark. For three hours. That first Good Friday. Silence. As my Jesus hung on the cross. As my Jesus cried out and died the death that I deserved.
So, yes, anger. Rage. It’s ok that I feel those things when I consider that first Good Friday. Yet, I have a benefit that those who loved him, those who sat at the foot of that cross, couldn’t yet see. I have the benefit of knowing that Sunday was coming. And it was just around the corner. I have the benefit of sitting in my rage, while also sitting in my gratitude. I have the benefit of sitting in the darkness, knowing the hope has already been revealed. I have the benefit of being consumed by the pain of the death, only for a moment, because I know the end of the story. That death was short-lived. That death was defeated that day. That the empty tomb found three days later was the key to victory. That death was beaten! That my Jesus overcame the darkest of days with the most victorious of days. From cross to grave…He has won!
Isn’t it a wonderful gift to know the end of the story? To know that as we acknowledge and sit in remembrance of the darkest day, that we are able to do so with gratitude, hope, peace, and even celebration of what was to come after that first Good Friday?
I challenge you this Easter weekend to sit in the darkness for a bit. Read the scriptures of that first Good Friday (Matthew 27, Mark 15, Luke 23, John 19). And then praise God for the end of the story. For the victory. For death being defeated.
Walk in the Truth this Easter Weekend. Because if you are a follower of Jesus, this weekend should be one of celebration! A reminder that my Jesus, your Jesus, overcame. He won! And because of that you and I are also victorious. We win…abundant life here on earth and eternal life is our future.
Heavenly Father, thank you for sending your Son, Jesus, to pay the penalty of death that I deserved. As I wrap my head and heart around that today, I also praise you for the victory that came three days later. Thank you for the cross. And thank you for the empty grave. Because you beat death, I may live in relationship with you today and forever more. I love you, Lord. Amen.
©Misty Cramer 2024
Misty Cramer is a best-selling author & national speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments. The book quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories, and is a Selah Awards Finalist. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome
Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
Misty Cramer © 2024
Do you find Marriage Monday helpful? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Message me. Comment on the blog. And give a “thumbs up” and share. Thank you!
Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome
Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
Misty Cramer © 2024