Marriage Monday: Introverts, Extoverts, & Holidays 

The house was filled with people for four days. The table had all its leaf’s in it. Additional tables were added to the room to make sure every person had a seat. From morning to evening there was activity. Games. Movies. Ping pong. Shopping. Conversation. Eating. The list goes on. And my husband, Todd and I loved it. We soaked in every moment. When the weekend wrapped up with a four generation Dance Party in our basement, we couldn’t help but smile. We couldn’t stop the tears of gratitude from forming in our eyes.

And then everyone left; we were exhausted. This takes us to today’s Marriage Monday topic, Introvert or Extrovert. An introvert gains energy and refuels their emotional tank through alone time. They generally prefer one on one conversations to large group ones. They often have a small group of close friends instead of a large number of friends. Todd and I are both introverts. What does this mean for us when the last hugs are given, the waves good-bye are completed, and the last vehicle pulls out of the driveway? I thought we'd give you a little glimpse into our Sunday...with the hopes it may encourage you in your marriage as we all continue with the holiday season. 

Here's how our Sunday afternoon unfolded:

*We looked at each other, embraced, and gave one another a kiss.

*We shared about how wonderful the long weekend was with all who were present. 

*We mutually discussed what the day would hold now that everyone had left the house.

*As introverts, we agreed to give each other space. He worked on stuff outside, did dishes, watched tv, got Christmas decorations out of the closet, and a whole lot more. I grabbed my book orders, my computer, found the kitchen counter once again, wrote this blog, cleaned off the table, and watched some Hallmark.

*We sat down and had dinner together.

*When dinner was finished, we decided to connect again in two hours to get ready for bed and enjoy a movie together to officially close out the wonderful weekend.

*Also, as we passed one another throughout the day, we smiled, shared in a kiss, or a touch on the shoulder…and then went about continuing to refuel our depleted emotional tank.

How about you? Are you introverted or extroverted? Do you fill your emotional tank with some alone time or with other people? What gives you energy?

These are important questions to ask in a marriage. Without good communication, it can get complicated when one spouse is an introvert and one is an extrovert. One person may need some alone time, while the other may desire to have friends over or keep the activity level going strong.

Even when spouses have the same, like Todd and I, there can be hurdles to jump. As two introverts, we need to be sure we are taking time for one another. Just because we can emotionally charge alone, doesn’t mean we should do that all the same time. We need to arrange times to come together, and focus on one another.

And when both spouses are extroverts, they need to also make alone time a priority. They may feel energized by being in larger groups, which could tempt them to solely do activities with others. But they also need to arrange times to come together, and focus on one another.

As with many pieces within a marriage, continuing to learn about one another is so important. There’s always something new to learn and apply to our marriages, as we work to create the very best marriage possible. Remember, neither the introvert or extrovert is correct or better than the other. They are simply different. Check out this week’s Intentional Marriage Tips below:

Intentional Tips for Strengthening your Marriage this Week:

*Identify whether you are an introvert or extrovert

*Have a conversation with your spouse about whether they are an introvert or extrovert

*Share with one another a few examples of times when you feel depleted emotionally

*Share with one another a few examples of times when you feel energized emotionally

*Ask your spouse what you could do this week to help energize them

*Discuss what could be done before, during, and after the next holiday event to help your spouse feel loved, appreciated, and energized

Have a wonderful week, and take some time to check out the marriage tips below.  I would love to hear how you made the decision to have those difficult conversations because you acknowledged your marriage was worth it. Please feel free to leave a comment or question on the form below, or connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. And if you found this blog helpful, please remember to “like” it; it helps to get the article out to more couples. Thanks! Here are the tips for the week.

Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and two granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

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