“It will be one of those days you will remember forever.” My aunts words were spoken to me with sincerity and the reflection of her experience over twenty years earlier, as she dropped off her oldest son at college. With the emotions that were already enveloping me, I knew her words would be accurate. Part of me wished they weren’t. Part of me wished this experience would be an easy one, one that would go by without any real tears of sadness. But without the tears of sadness, I suppose that could mean that I didn’t mind letting go of this part of our lives. And to be honest, part of me, a big part of me, does mind letting go.
Life is about letting go, isn’t it? It’s about letting go of a part of your experiences, of your family’s experiences, ones held so close, ones that seem to have slipped away much to quickly. It’s about doing the very best you can as a parent, realizing you have been far from perfect, but praying that your love for your child has covered most of your mistakes.
As you read this today, I am three hours away from my home, a little country town in the thumb of Michigan; the area that my husband and I have proudly chosen to raise our children. As you read, we are in an Orientation program at a wonderful college that my son has chosen to attend. I’m imagining myself in a program sitting attentively and yet having my mind wander as I prepare to say good-bye to my son and leave him at his new home on this college campus.
I am replaying in my mind the mental pictures I have taken the last few weeks as I’ve watched him take extra care in spending special moments with each of his four younger brothers. The trips outside to shoot some hoops. The wrestling on the living room floor. The watching of cartoons that he watches only for the enjoyment his little brothers gain from having him near them. The teasing as he attempts to persuade one to give him a hug. And the joy as he heads to work and the youngest runs down the hall yelling after him, “Hug! Hug! Hug!” Watching his 6’3’’ body reach down and effortlessly scoop up the little 20-pound body as they embrace and quickly kiss each other on the cheek.
Those are difficult times to let go, yet without change, without letting go of parts of our lives, there would be no growth, no room for new experiences. Ecclesiastes 3:1says, “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.” There have been wonderful seasons in our lives. And yet, the story isn’t over! We must turn the page and prepare to begin a new chapter. Yes, one of uncertainty. One of unknown challenges. But also one of new experiences. One of new friendships. One of new growth.
It seems that as parents, we spend lots of time slowly closing chapters of our children’s lives. We close a chapter when take them to the bus to go to kindergarten that first day. We close a chapter when we help them through the nervousness of their first date. We close a chapter when we watch them go down that graduation aisle. And we close a chapter as we leave them at college. Yet in closing all of those chapters, we are allowing a new season to burst into bloom! It’s fun to leaf back in the pages, reminisce about the older chapters, laugh about them, but we must always be ready to start the new chapter, even if the earlier chapters seem too precious to end, even as uncertain as the new ones may seem; more of the book is to be written.
Now, I am preparing to say my good bye. I am preparing to close up the chapters of the past eighteen years, opening them every so often for the great memories, but closing them again, making room for the new chapters. Will it be easy? You can bet it won’t be. You can be sure that I have tears in my eyes right now as I think about this, but I want to share with you a promise that I hold on to during these times of change. A promise that I hope will comfort you as you go through whatever change is happening in your life today. Matthew 28:20, “I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” I have a Heavenly Father who not only promises He will be with me through this process, but more importantly to me as a mom right now, He is promising me He will there for my son, even when I’m not able.
So as I drive away from that college parking lot, as you leave your child at the elementary school, or as you close whatever chapter of your life is ending this summer, we can both be assured that there is someone much more able than ourselves holding our babies. One who loves them even more than we do. One who is holding their hands tightly, walking them into the next chapter. Thank you God for reassuring me that you are taking care of our little ones, even the little ones who have grown much bigger than us now! And God, when we’re not able, please give our children an extra big hug every so often from mom and dad.
Author Misty Cramer. This piece was first published in the Bay City Times, when Misty's oldest son was being taken to college...many years ago.
If you would like to receive notice when Misty posts a blog, you can subscribe to her website, https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome and follow her on Instagram @mistydawncramer and Facebook, Misty Cramer, Author & Speaker. She would love to connect with you!
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“If you turn left here, we will get there more quickly.”
“No, I drive this all the time, this way is quicker.”
“I just drove this yesterday, and it is quicker if you turn left.”
Voice inflections change. Eyes roll. The mood of the trip just changed.
“You never reached out to me.”
“I reached out first, last time. I was waiting for you this time.”
“What a joke! You never reach out to me first. I always have to be the one to initiate.”
Words get harsher. The sound of pain makes its way through the conversation.
“About ten years ago we went and visited Uncle Joe.”
“That was not ten years ago. It was only eight.”
“It was ten years! I remember cuz it was close to his 70th birthday.”
Argument ensues. Tension grows.
What is it about us and our great need to be “RIGHT”? Even to the point we are willing to argue about topics that add no value to our daily lives. To the point that often times, we don’t even remember the topic of the initial argument. Years ago, my husband and I went to a marriage retreat, and speaker, Tom Harmon, gave this wise advice: “Give up the RIGHT to be RIGHT.”
What? You mean when I am RIGHT, I can just let “it” go and allow the other person to be RIGHT? Yes, it is possible. And it is a valuable tool to use in a marriage, as well as in any other relationship. When we relinquish this RIGHT, we are sacrificing self by putting the other person’s needs first. Because to be honest, many (I realize there are exceptions) of the arguments we have, are not worth battling over. They are not worth damaging the relationship. They are not worth hurting the other person. They are not worth the journey down the long ugly road. They are not worth damaging any children within earshot.
Perhaps turning left was quicker, but did the argument add value to the relationship? Maybe the other person didn’t reach out last time; are we prepared to lose the relationship over who is RIGHT. And maybe it was only eight years ago since we visited Uncle Joe, but wasn’t the goal of the conversation to set up a time to go visit him again?
I’m certainly not going to say it’s easy to relinquish the RIGHT to be RIGHT. My husband will testify to the fact that I don’t find it easy; in fact, he is much better at it than I. But I will continue to remind myself that it’s not about who is RIGHT. It’s about loving and honoring the other person, and investing in the building of relationships.
Let no corrupt talk come from your mouths, but only that which is used to build others up. Eph 4:29
So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, Matthew 7:12
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
If you would like to receive notice when Misty posts a blog, you can subscribe to her website, https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome and follow her on Instagram @mistydawncramer and Facebook, Misty Cramer, Author & Speaker. She would love to connect with you!
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As the last vehicle drives out of the driveway, I can’t help it; tears slowly form in my eyes, and then stream down my cheeks. My hubby wraps his arms around me, knowing that the evening will be difficult. And that even the days ahead will leave their mark, as some sadness makes its way through our home. I am pretty predictable this time of year. Whether I was sending my kids off to kindergarten, college, or even now, back to their own homes after a wonderful summer together, I just don’t deal well with the good-byes and the TRANSITION that comes with those good-byes. I like to hold on very tightly to the wonderful times that the summer brought. I still want to enjoy the laughs around the bonfire; the swims at the pond; the sounds of the guitar playing in the bedroom; the banging of furniture during wrestling matches. All of it; I want to keep it coming. I don’t want to say good-bye; and I don’t want to begin the TRANSITION.
And yet, as I speak those things to my husband. As I share with God, once again this year, my lack of zeal for TRANSITIONING from summer to fall, I am reminded of the importance, and yes, even the joy to be found in the TRANSITION. Oh, what I would miss out on in my life if there weren’t TRANSITIONS. Oh, how I would miss seeing God work in the lives of my family, if they didn’t TRANSITION from one chapter to the next. God, you are so good, to allow us the opportunity to grow, to TRANSITION from one chapter to the next. You are so good, to allow us to create memories in one chapter, and then build anticipation for what the next chapter may look like. You are so good to allow us to take all that we learn, the good decisions and the bad, and to carry those lessons into the next chapter. Thank you, Lord, for walking with me through these times of TRANSITION, for allowing me to shed my tears, but for also reminding me of the growth and the opportunities that come with the new chapters you have for each one of us.
I pray this week, that as you move from summer to fall. As you TRANSITION from one season to another, that you feel His presence each step of the way. I pray that whether you struggled as you dropped off your kindergartener, are going through difficult evenings not having your college student at home, or any other TRANSITION you may be dealing with, that you are reminded of the faithful God we serve. That you are reminded that He has prepared a plan for us, and for our loved ones. A plan that includes this TRANSITION. A plan that includes a beautiful new chapter. May we each be reminded that without turning the page to the new chapter, we will leave the remainder of the story untold. And it's a good story. Let’s take the leap and turn that page, even if we need to leave a tear-soaked page behind.
There is a time for everything, and a season for everything under the sun. Ecclesiastes 3:1
Transitions in life, can offer opportunities for discovery. Robbie Shell
Sometimes, God brings times of transition to create transformation. Lynn Cowell
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6
If you would like to receive notice when Misty posts a blog, you can subscribe to her website, https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome and follow her on Instagram @mistydawncramer and Facebook, Misty Cramer, Author & Speaker. She would love to connect with you!
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Do seasonal transitions come easy for you? They certainly don’t for me. As I wandered around my house this week, picking up little toys and hair ties, and swooshing balloons across the floor, my heart ached. They were reminders that Summer was coming to a close and Fall was soon to begin.
Our family had the most marvelous of summers. We started right out with two of our sons getting married. It was absolutely wonderful to experience those unions. Weddings also meant there were some really great family gatherings, which I love and treasure. We then we headed into our 9th Annual July 4th Family Extravaganza. That meant even more family time. We had trips up north to see family. We had our South Carolina family come to Michigan for several weeks. The opportunities for fun, conversation, and laughter seemed endless this summer.
And yet, this week, the time arrived for that phase of life to come to a close. Did I mention how much I dislike that?
The family activities wrapped up, as the last of our family, including two of our granddaughters, our daughter-in-law and our son, loaded up and pulled out of the driveway on Monday. And this grandma shed some tears. Transitions are hard, especially when they include good-byes.
Today there were no morning conversations with my son and daughter-in-law.
There was no pitter patter of our granddaughters little feet making their way down the stairs. There were no snuggles on the couch before the day was to begin.
There would be no more setting up for movie nights. Or making popcorn. Or choosing a candy to add to that popcorn. (Does anyone else add M & M’s or Skittles to their popcorn?)
The pond will remain still, without the endless swimming and paddleboard rides.
The bonfire pit won’t be as active.
The jars for catching fireflies will remain empty.
The “grandma tears” came again at 2:00 pm when I was picking up some random item they left lying on the living room. And even now, as I write this. The sadness does fade. It takes a bit, but that’s ok. Giving myself time to sit in the “loss” of summer, of noise, of family is healthy for me. And it takes me through the memories of all the wonderful things that happened this summer.
What transition are you preparing for today? Do you have a little one heading to kindergarten? Are you dropping a child off at college? Maybe you’ve had a summer break from work and you’re preparing to head back this fall. Possibly, you’ve had a different type of loss; the loss of a marriage; the physical loss of a loved one; the loss of a job.
All of those changes mandate a transition. Some are easier than others. All can be a challenge and bring an array of emotions. I want to remind you today that we serve a God who is walking with you during every transition. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
The changes in your life and the transitions you are walking through at this very moment are no surprise to God. He is not caught off guard by your circumstances. He is not puzzled by your pain. He is not silenced by your sadness.
He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), prepared to give rest to the weary (Matthew 11:28), and provide strength (Isaiah 41:10) for each one of us.
I pray that whatever transition you are walking through right now, that you would rest in the arms of the One who has held your past and holds your future. And as for my transition, I am going to praise Him for a splendid summer, and lean into whatever fabulous fall plans He has for me. (Yes, I may shed a few more tears and I definitely will be counting down until I get to see my family again.)
Scripture and Prayers for You Today
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. John 16:22
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans15:13
The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. Psalm 145:18-19
Heavenly Father, I am going through some challenging transitions right now. It’s hard for me to let go of the past and embrace the future. I ask that you would walk before me, light the path for me, and prepare me in whatever ways needed for the road that is ahead. I love you Lord, and thank you for your goodness and grace. Amen
Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome
Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
Misty Cramer © 2024
Do you remember, as a child, being in a large crowd, straining to see something special? And then realizing that all you could see were the backs and behinds of the people in front of you?
That is, until an adult noticed you struggling to see. They lifted you up, placed you on their shoulders, and suddenly you were higher than everyone else. You realized you had the best view in the place!
On my journey through Luke today, I was reading Luke 19, and was considering what the view must have been like for Zacchaeus on that day he decided to climb the tree. You see, the bible tells us that Zacchaeus was “short”. So, when the crowds began to gather to see Jesus, he was seeing the backs and behinds of the people in front of him. However, he may have been short in stature, but he was most certainly not short in creativity and ingenuity. He found a tree. And he climbed it. He suddenly had the best view in the place! How awesome is that! Not only was Zacchaeus able to see Jesus, but Jesus saw Zacchaeus!
As Zacchaeus is up there enjoying the view, perhaps waving at the people below him, Jesus sees him. He not only sees him, but he greets him. And he not only greets him, but Jesus invites himself over to dinner at Zacchaeus’ house! Wow! That climb up into the sycamore tree was so worth it!
Zacchaeus did what hopefully any of us would do, “came down at once and welcomed him gladly”.
Today, I pose this question-how eager are we to see Jesus? Are we hungering Him to the point that we are willing to “climb the sycamore tree”? To do something unusual, so we can see Him more clearly? To go out of our way to hear His voice?
Everywhere we look, it seems there are currently big crowds. Restaurants. The expressway. Stores. It takes some effort on our parts, to find a way to see Jesus through the crowds and chaos. But when we do, when we put in that effort, when we climb that tree--the view is so beautiful. The relationship with Jesus is so sweet. We see Him. He sees us. We are reminded that He longs to sit at our table and share in conversation with us. We are reminded, as Zacchaeus was, that He “came to seek and to save the lost”.
Today's blog is teaching from Luke 19:1-10. Enjoy reading the full story on your own.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, as I navigate this busy season, I don't want to forget You in the midst of it all. I want to hunger for you. I want to chase you. I want to climb to the tallest tree, so I can see and hear you more clearly. Come, Lord Jesus, sit with me. So, I can give you praise and thanks for coming to earth to seek and save someone like me. Amen
Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 40 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, four daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome
Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
Misty Cramer © 2024
My heart hurts today. It hurts for many of you. My friends out there who are struggling with deep pain. The world is going on with the hustle and bustle of Christmas, and you are holding on by a thread. You’re doing your best to smile as you check out of the store. You’re saying the words, “Merry Christmas”, and yet you feel anything but “merry”. You’re hiding the tears, as people mention their families gathering for Christmas. You’re forcing yourself to get up and go, to move forward, when everything in you wants to stop. I see you, Friend. And I love you. More importantly, God sees you. And He loves you.
To my friends who are crawling instead of walking. Crying instead of laughing. You are seen. And you are loved.
To my friends who have lost a loved one, those of you who will sit through Christmas with that empty chair filled with memories staring back at you, you are seen. You are loved.
To my friends who have a family member who is distant, perhaps writing you out of their story, your pain is real. You are seen, and you are loved.
To the family who just lost a wife and mom, we are reeling with you. You are seen, and you are loved.
To the one spending this holiday season in the hospital, wishing to be with your family around the Christmas tree, know that you are seen. And you are loved.
To the family sitting alongside their loved ones in the hospital, wondering if you have enough strength to support your loved one on their health journey, you are seen. And you are loved.
To the couple who lost their baby before he could take his first breath, we mourn with you. You are seen. And you are loved.
To my friends who are silently struggling with addiction, those who will watch the food and drinks pass by them, as the desire to partake grows stronger by the minute, you are seen. You are loved.
To my friends who sit alone this holiday season, remembering the days when your home was full of love and laughter, you too are seen. And you are loved.
Although our world is much different than it was 2000 years ago, when Jesus was born, the pain remains the same. The hopelessness was evident. Sickness darkened the doors of families. Wayward family members impacted the group around the dinner table. Loneliness was present. These are not new hurts. They are hurts that a living God saw, as the perfect world He created became filled with pain. But our God saw that! Just as He sees every one of us. He saw the need for a Savior. He saw the need for the brokenness to be healed. For loneliness to be replaced with joy. He saw the need for families to be restored. For addictions to be broken. He saw the need for healing. He saw the need for eternal life, so we could sit at the table once again with those we lost. He saw…and He sees.
Our loving and faithful God chose to send His Son, Jesus, into a lost and painfilled world. He did that for you. He did that for me. Because He sees us. And He loves us.
My hope and prayer for you this Christmas season is that if you are one of the people who are hurting, allow Him and others to walk this journey with you. Let people minister to you; that’s what our loving God does for us. And if you’re one of the people who are doing well, then please keep your eyes open for those who need you this holiday season. In Matthew 9:37 it says, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore, pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest". May we be one of the laborers He sends to walk alongside the hurting this holiday season.
If you or your family need some extra prayers this Christmas, please let me know. I’d be honored to pray for you.
Scriptures of Hope
Today, I encourage you to choose a verse or two, write them down, place them somewhere in your home where they’ll be visible, and allow God to minister to your heart through His Words.
God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1 John 3:1
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 1 John 3:16
God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. I Corinthians 1:9
Isaiah 43:4: God sees us as precious and honored, and loves us so much that he would exchange nations for our life.
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. Psalm 139:1
But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Psalm 86:15
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 40 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, four daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:
Sign up here to receive a free devotion, 5 Steps for Walking with God through Everyday Moments: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome
Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14
Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064
Misty Cramer © 2024