Pictured is my nephew, Dawson, who is enjoying some rest of mind and body during a visit to our home last summer. 

As I laid my head down on my pillow, I could feel the physical exhaustion wash over me. My body was craving the sleep it so badly needed. It didn’t take much to get myself comfortable, as I laid my tired head on my pillow, and allowed my eyes to close, something they had been desiring to do for the past many hours.

But what was happening? My exhausted body was attached to my head, which at this particular moment, was the home for the numerous thoughts regarding the painful circumstances many people were in at that very moment. No, this couldn’t be happening!

It was as if my mind didn’t care one bit about the exhausted body in which it resided. It was going to run its own course, taking me down trails, rough and rock ones, that I did not want to explore tonight. Couples whose marriages are failing. Youth who feel discarded. Death in the streets of Ukraine. Families struggling with finances. Parents feeling overwhelmed. Friends dealing with loss of loved ones. The trails in my mind were endless; they were dark. Lonely. And had no finish line. 

I know you can relate to those nights. We all have them. Yet, I have come to realize how deeply important rest is in our lives. And not only physical rest, but mental and emotional rest, as well. 

During those times, I frequently find myself telling God, “Lord, you know how exhausted I am. You also know my brain won’t shut off tonight. So, God, I’m just going to talk to you until I fall asleep; there will be no “amen” tonight. Thanks for listening.”

I don’t think the Lord minds one bit that I fall asleep while I’m talking to Him. I imagine at that moment, He’s taking the role of the Father, who is very content to have His daughter resting in his arms, providing her with the peace she needs that night to rest her body, and her mind. 

My prayer is that you share with your Heavenly Father all those challenges that are keeping you up at night, so you are able to truly rest in the arms of your Father when lay your head on your pillow tonight. 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Jesus (Matthew 11:28) 

Misty Cramer is an author and speaker, wife of 37 years to her favorite man, Todd, mother to five sons and two daughter-in-laws, and grandma to two of the cutest little humans on earth. She wants you to know you were created by a loving God who desires for you to have a relationship with Him.  And not only that, but He desires for you to live life to the fullest, to have an abundant life (John 10)!  Did you know that same God is able to do beyond anything we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)?  Often we find ourselves just plodding along in life, without passion, without dreams, without a vision for our future. That isn’t the life God has in mind for us.  Whether we are going through the dark valleys of life, venturing into the wonderful mountain tops of life, or find ourselves somewhere in between, God wants to walk with us, meet with us, and show us how to live life to the fullest. 

#imagine320 #rest #sleeplessnights #restforyoursoul #jesus #devotions #christian #encouragement #exhaustion #peace #wednesdaysword 

Pictured is my son, Zachary, who is keeping "watch" during an outdoor worship service last summer. Photo Credit: My son, Micah Cramer @5thchildphotography (Etsy Store) 

Although the chair was far from comfortable, it had been my home for the past thirty minutes, and my body began to accept the fact that it would remain my home for at least another thirty. With that fact, I began to slouch, sliding my legs further underneath the desk in front of me. I then allowed my ears to turn the professor’s history lecture on the War of 1812 into a soothing drone, making focus difficult, and keeping my eyes open, even more challenging. What I think was moments later, a quick jerk of my head, caused me to abruptly open my eyes. I sat upright in my chair, and glanced around the room, checking to see if I had been caught in my “moment of indiscretion”, otherwise known as “sleeping in class”. 

In the book of Matthew, specifically Chapter 26, we could say, three of Jesus’ disciples are caught in such an “indiscretion”.  Jesus had just finished the Last Supper with his disciples. He knows that Peter is about to deny him. He knows Judas is betraying him. He knows his death is imminent. And he goes to Gethsemane to pray, asking if Peter (and others) will “keep watch with me”. Before Jesus goes off to pray, he even shares that his “soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death”. It is beyond our comprehension...his depth of pain, his loneliness, the betrayal he was feeling as he walked into the Garden that night. The weight of the world pressing down on him at that moment, would have made it difficult for him to make the journey. And yet he did, to spend time with his Father. And he had what seemed like one simple request, to the three who walked with him: “keep watch with me”. He desired back-up. He desired his friends to be close to him, to watch, to pray. He wanted them to be alert. To be protected from the schemes of the devil. Yet, he also wanted to spare them the full devastation of seeing him crying out to the Father, spare them from seeing him sweat blood as he bowed before the Father, so he had them stay back a bit. And he walked further into the garden, among the trees, alone with the Father, crying out to him. 

Watch. Pray. The instruction, the plea, doesn’t seem to be that difficult, does it? At least not for us, us who are able to simply read “the story”, and point our fingers at those who failed the test. We know the “end of the story”. We know this was Jesus’ last night on earth. We know; but they didn’t. They were tired, their bodies exhausted. The night had been long. Jesus, there’s a lot going on. Couldn’t we call it a night? They let their bodies rest on the side of the tree. They laid their head against its bark. They let the weight of their eyes be drawn closed, and just like I did in the classroom of my professor, they feel asleep on their Teacher. And not just once, nor twice, but three times. Three times Jesus returns from his time with the Father, to find his beloved three....sleeping. 

I read this passage and think, “oh, I would stay awake”. I mean, it is Jesus, after all. If Jesus asked me to stay awake and keep watch, if Jesus asked me to watch and pray, of course I could do it. Or could I? 

My challenge with our “Wednesday Word” this week, “watch”, is that we each take time to do just that. To “watch and pray”. What might Jesus want us to watch for this week? What temptations may be luring in the darkness for us, temptations that can be identified when we “watch”? What might Jesus want us to pray for this week? Who does he want to bring to our mind during our time with the Father? As we head into Maundy Thursday, and then into Good Friday, I wonder if we could each read the scripture in Matthew 26. Walk the journey with Jesus again. Can we take the opportunity to allow God to show us a piece of what it must have been like for his Son, Jesus, in those days leading into his death? It won’t be an easy journey to allow even a portion of the pain, the realization of what Jesus went through for us, to seep into our souls. It won’t be a pretty journey, as betrayal, sacrifice, sin, and death are never pretty. But keeping watch, praying, will be life-changing. We cannot remain the same when we allow God into the deepest portions of our being. He will change us. Be ready. And keep watch. 

Misty Cramer, is an author and speak whose desire is to encourage others, as she shares the hope Jesus provides in the midst of life’s darkest challenges, as well as it’s brightest triumphs. If you would like to receive “Wednesday’s Word”, as well as other encouragement, you can subscribe to her website, and follow her on Instagram @mistydawncramer and Facebook, Misty Cramer, Author & Speaker. She would love to connect with you!  #imagine320 #wednesdaysword #watch #keepwatch #jesus #easter #devotions #christian #encouragement #exhaustion #peace #mandythursday #goodfriday 

Pictured is Christopher and myself, during a visit to our home a few months before his death.  

As I write, it is 10 years from the last embrace I had with my brother, Christopher Cederberg. 

And so, on this Tuesday night, I find the word REMEMBER, at the top of my list for my Wednesday’s Word Series. Because it is this word, that is etched in my mind, as I replay the last evening of his life.

I remember well the taco dinner we had together. We had a full house with he and my sister and her children visiting. The laughter and chaos during dinner can still be heard in the back of my mind. The children running around the house, and making their way to the basement after dinner is etched in my heart. And mostly, I remember the conversation, as all of us adults moved to the living room. I remember the authenticity of my brother sharing about his drug addiction. The fact that although he had been clean for a bit, the urge to use was still strong, sometimes stronger than others. Oh, how he wished the desire would disappear. Yet, it taunted him, like a lion in the brush. Eager to use any weak moment, as an opportunity to pounce. 

I then remember the family, circled in our living room, taking turns praying. Thanking God for the evening we had just spent together. Asking for strength in the days ahead. Praying specifically for Christopher, and the addiction that clawed at him.

I remember how my heart sank that night when he told us he would be leaving for a birthday party that evening, spending the night in town, instead of returning to my house. Concerned for what his night may hold, the uneasiness began to press down heavily on my chest. 

I remember vividly, standing in my living room, hugging him, and both of us saying, “see ya in the morning”, as we planned to meet as a family the next day. Once again, I remember his embrace, his strong arms and over six-foot tall stature towering over me. 

Because the pain is too vivid, to deep, for family, even after these 10 years, I won’t go into detail about the memories the next day held, as we learned of Christopher’s death, from an accidental drug overdose at age 32 years. But I will share that I remember all too clearly every moment of the day, as if time stood still. As if someone pressed the slow-motion button, and the world moved forward at a pace that gave way to more time than we wanted, to sit in the agony the day held for our family. 

I have wrestled with REMEMBER for some time now. And over the past 10 years, I have learned to value it in a different way than I had been able to in the past.  Remember caused me a lot of pain. It would replay parts of the journey that I didn’t want to watch again. It would haunt me, as I would look back at times when Chris was alive. As I would consider how things may have gone differently that night. In fact, I didn’t want to remember; I wanted to have life look so different. I wanted to have Chris here, on this earth, with us, his family. As he should be. I didn’t want the “need to remember” what it was like before he died. So, I found myself angry, pounding down Remember, because frankly, I shouldn’t need, Remember, at all. Remember wasn’t supposed to be part of our story.

However, I now find myself reconciling with Remember. Not that the pain of remembering isn’t still there. Not that my heart doesn’t still cry out at this loss. But I’m also able to embrace Remember, as I allow my heart to journey to the gratitude of having Christopher at our home the night before he died. As I’m able to be thankful for the conversation and dinner we shared together. For the prayer time we had, minutes before he left. I allow myself to remember, giving permission for time to stop, then for it to move forward in slow-motion, so I am able to soak in those moments. Granting them the opportunity to dwell within my core, becoming a part of the woman I am today.

And mostly, I remember this. I remember that we serve a God, a Savior, who meets us right smack in the midst of our difficulties. Our challenges. And yes, our addictions. Christopher knew Jesus. He had a relationship with Jesus. And just like all of us who are dealing with any type of sin, anything that dares to pull us out of God’s will, Jesus was walking with Christopher on the journey of life. He was walking with him when he was doing great, playing with his nieces and nephews, talking with friends and family. He was walking with him on those days when the journey was hard, when the tugs of the addiction were strong. He was walking with him during those times when his body gave into those cravings. When he wasn’t strong enough to stand against the temptations. And he was walking with him, when he left this earth. And when He entered his new home in Heaven. 

Remember. Remember is my friend now. Because I am reminded, we are never too far gone for the love of Jesus. That He doesn’t need us to be perfect, or even close, in order to start a relationship with Him. (Romans 3:23) In fact it’s our imperfection that creates our need for a Savior. (Romans 6:23) That even in the midst of us falling into temptation, He loves us and offers us forgiveness. (1 John 1:9) That we don’t have to understand all that this life holds; we don’t have to know all the answers to the questions of “why”. And most importantly, that when we believe in Him, when we let him know we want to be His follower, we are able to experience eternal life with Him, in Heaven, after our time on this earth.  (John 3:16) And with that promise, I will see Christopher again. Now that, is something worth REMEMBERing.  

To my family who are reading this, I pray for you, for us, as we continue to navigate the life we lead now without Christopher. I ask that God would work in our hearts in a mighty way today, somehow providing us with a comfort and peace that may only be explained as divine. I love you all, and praise God that He has placed you in my life.

And for those of you who are reading this with a tears in your eyes, because you too have lost someone, someone who you love beyond what words can express, someone whom "remembering" brings pain of what should have been....my heart is with you, too. I'm praying for you right this minute as I write. May God grant you the strength and courage to move forward one day at a time, remembering the truths that He has to offer you today and always. 

Misty Cramer, is an author and speaker whose desire is to encourage others, as she shares the hope Jesus provides in the midst of life’s darkest challenges, as well as it’s brightest triumphs. If you would like to receive “Wednesday’s Word”, as well as other encouragement, you can subscribe to her website https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome and follow her on Instagram @mistydawncramer and Facebook, Misty Cramer, Author & Speaker. She would love to connect with you!  #imagine320 #wednesdaysword #jesus #devotions #christian #encouragement #exhaustion #peace #addiction #alcoholaddiction #alcohol #drugaddiction #druguse #drugs #overdose #death #remember #hope #salvation #john316 #loss #family #siblings #love #heaven #eternallife #sin #forgiveness