Grace-filled response: Conviction from a Childhood Journal

Dear Diary, Neeki and I got in a fight today. I told her I was sick of her not doing her work right. She was mad at me for a minute or so but I think she is more mad at herself. Thank you God for that. Well I guess we had a good day then. Bye.

Oh, what fun I have had looking through this musty diary I found recently in a box of old treasures. The first entry in the diary began Christmas of 1978, when I was thirteen years old. And since I didn’t write in it every day, the childhood musings continued for several years. Now, as an adult reading these reflections, I am chuckling at myself, while also enjoying the process of seeing what God can teach me through these recorded memories. I thought I’d share with you today, a couple things God brought to my heart as I read the above entry.

According to the above diary entry, my younger sister Neeki (Monique’s nickname) and I got into a little spat. Being the oldest child in the family, I often had the role of leading the charge in household chores. This sometimes left me in an unpopular position, yet a position I probably relished a little too much. Yes, I proudly wore the unseen badge of The Boss.

Although I don’t remember this exact Saturday in October 1980, I can picture myself rattling off to my sister all the ways she hadn’t done the task correctly. I can imagine myself getting frustrated with the lackadaisical way she seemed to approach her chores. Did she not understand this was serious Saturday business? I can imagine myself becoming impatient with the fact that she just didn’t move quickly enough. Didn’t she understand we had other things we wanted to do on our Saturday? And, I can imagine myself being angry with her quality of work. She obviously didn’t understand that Mom would be checking this work in a couple hours, and we needed it to be completed in tip-top fashion.

As my relationship with Jesus grows, I continue to be more and more grateful for the manner in which He responds when I don’t follow His plan perfectly. Oh, He has plenty of opportunity to rattle off the many ways I don’t “do my tasks correctly”. Whether the list includes speaking harshly to my hubby, being impatient with a friend, or skipping out on special time with Him, I don’t have any shortage of behaviors that could easily make God frustrated, impatient, and angry. Yet, His grace abounds. His forgiveness is abundant. And His conviction speaks through the Holy Spirit within the intimate relationship we have together.

My guess would be that the words I spoke to my sister that day were far from grace-filled. I doubt I was thinking much about forgiveness of any sort. And, unlike God, who speaks privately, directly from His spirit to mine, I highly doubt I approached my younger sister with any manner of privacy; In fact, I probably had no problem chastising her in front of our siblings.

Do you have anyone in your life who needs some grace and forgiveness extended to them. Do you have anyone in your life who has made you angry or frustrated, and you’re tempted to “out” their mistakes publicly instead of privately.

My prayer today is that when the temptation comes to correct someone, we set our pride behind us and the Holy Spirit in front of us. When we allow Him to move and speak within our words and actions, we not only will build stronger relationships with others, but we will also allow others to see Jesus through us.

Thanks for walking with me today as we explored my childhood diary. I think there is another full devotion in the piece of this entry that says, “she was mad at me for a minute or so but I think she is more mad at herself. Thank you God for that.”

The relief I felt when she got “mad at herself” instead of me, revealed my strong need, even as a child, for acceptance, approval, and validation by her (and others). That acknowledgement has led to some wonderful opportunities of God-growth for me over the years. Perhaps that will be a topic for next time.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace. Ephesians 1:7

Because our gospel came to you not simply with words but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction. I Thessalonians 1:5

Misty Cramer is a best-selling author and national speaker. Her book, “The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments”, quickly made its way to Amazon’s #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life’s messes. She has been married to Todd for 40 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as “empty nesters” in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, four daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she’d love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty’s book can be found below:

Sign up here for the monthly devotion.

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book.

To receive a signed copy of the book, along with a free bookmark, please order here.

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement.